Words From My Heart

Sorry for my absence; things have been rather busy and messed up, and this is when blogging would have been quite useful.   I took some time off from job hunting, and now that I’m back to it depression has been especially hard to deal with.

A couple of weeks ago I took a typing test to obtain an official certificate for presenting to the school district for temp work they are interested in interviewing me for.  Sometimes lost is my middle name, and I got lost on my way there.  MAJOR panic attack and my heart beat so furiously that it seemed I was having a heart attack.   Fortunately I was allowed in despite being a bit late.

I was so distraught that I went to the administration building at my church after taking the test, and asked the receptionist for anyone available to pray for me.  The very kind woman that sat with me prayed, then urged that I go to the doctor to be on the safe side.  My blood pressure was off, and when the doctor at the clinic listened to my heart she heard an irregular heartbeat.  On the menu?  An EKG.  After consulting with another doctor they determined that I was not having a heart attack, but wrote a prescription for anxiety medication and wrote a referral for a cardiologist.  Unfortunately I now have to wait for MediCal to kick in before I can have that appointment.

Depression and anxiety are demons in my opinion.  It makes it so difficult to do everyday things, and often difficult to read the Bible or do what God needs me to do – that is why I feel they are demons.  I have two index cards on the closet door right by my desk and within site of the bed.  God is an encourager, and I greatly value these verses:

Never forget that God provides, and He will guard your heart during trials and tribulations.

Some of the things I am thankful for today include:

• Adult coloring books by Johanna Basford. The pages within are art in themselves, and coloring them provides peace and works I can turn into personal art.
• I qualify for MediCal.
• I was able to purchase some cool-season veggies for my fall garden.
• Lavender – I adore lavender for aromatherapy and in personal care products.
• I am glad it wasn’t a heart attack.
• God provides; I had the money to finally order new eyeglasses; learned that my new prescription is ½ power stronger.
• My housemate brought me an orchid that was going to be thrown out at the garden center – love having plants in my room.  It was nice that she thought of me.
• My mom called to see if I had money for October rent, and I do.
• The triplets are now 6 weeks old and are doing fabulous.
• My niece and nephew-in-law have lots of volunteers so that they can get some rest.
• Stunning blue sky as I type this

I need to finish getting ready for my volunteer job at the seminary, so will close for now.  Please comment anytime you wish!

Are you ready?

Going on vacation, you carefully plan where you want to go and what to do; you calculate expenses and save for the trip.  Mormons belief you should have a three month supply of food on hand (minimum)¹.  The Maasai culture prepares their young boys for manhood – becoming warriors².  A young woman prepares for marriage, often beginning as little girls, and it is ideal for a couple to attend pre-marriage counseling or classes³.  If you move to another country you prepare for a new culture.  We all know the importance of saving money for emergencies.

But what are we doing to prepare for the return of Jesus?

The other day I was preparing to leave for the mechanic, and was ready with change for the bus and spending the day at a nearby mall.  The night before as I looked at the mess inside my car, and thought, “Oh, I’ll do it in the morning.”  Guess what?  I was about to leave and suddenly remembered that I hadn’t tidied up the car interior, so had to dash about to do that in order to make the 9 A.M. appointment.

We aren’t going to have the opportunity to do that when Christ returns.  I recall seeing a video of what it might be like during the rapture; the scene was a church service, the preacher was at the pulpit holding his Bible when BAM – suddenly much of the congregation disappeared and where the pastor had been standing only his Bible was left.  Those left in the pews knelt and wept in dismay as they realized they had not been prepared.

Matthew 25 gives us Jesus’ parable of the wedding feast in which 10 young women went to a wedding.  The bridegroom had not yet arrived, so the women fell asleep while waiting.  The bridegroom arrived, and they arose to greet him and go into the party.  Some of the women were not prepared with enough oil for their lamps and asked the others to share their oil.  The second set couldn’t or they would not have had enough oil for themselves; they were prepared.

How do we prepare for His return?

We need to watch and be ready.  We should not be consumed with the things of this world, but be consumed with Him.  If Jesus returned at this very moment would you be ashamed of what you are doing, thinking, wearing, etc.?  Although it is impossible to be perfect, exactly like Him, each day we should be striving to be as Christ-like as possible.  We should be working while anxiously waiting, demonstrating our faith and doing for others by putting our faith in action.

As I close these thoughts, I feel the heaviness of the topic.  This is probably the most serious I’ve been with you.  But it also weighs heavy upon me to be ready, and to encourage all of you to be the same.

Some of the things I’m thankful for this week:

1. The triplets got to go home!
2. While initially it appeared that the rear brakes only needed to be flushed, it turns out the master cylinder was in BAD shape. That and the oil change cost nearly $400, but God kept me safe until the money was available (mom giving it to me without my asking).
3. Had the time while repairs were made to see a great movie, “Ricki and the Flash.”
4. Cooler days have continued. It’s still hot, but much better than being over 100.
5. I have an interview scheduled for next week.
6. Free ads that The Rock Church sponsors; that is how the above potential employer found me, through my ad advertising “EXCELLENT ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT LOOKING FOR WORK.”
7. When I went to Sprouts grocery yesterday, was greatly surprised and blessed to see my friend Suzi.
8. It turns out that I was a blessing to her. She was surprised with two chance meetings with friends, one of them me, on a day that was difficult for her.  Her daughter Natalie started fourth grade that day, and growing up is hard on mothers.
9. There is a distribution at the food bank tonight.
10. Kashi autumn wheat cereal.
11. My church, Shadow Mountain Community Church, has accepted me as a door greeter on Saturday evenings. I’m so happy to represent SMCC.
12. Such great pictures of the triplets

Have a blessed day, and I welcome all comments.

1. https://www.lds.org/topics/food-storage?lang=eng
2. http://www.maasai-association.org/ceremonies.html
3.  http://www.yourchurchwedding.org/youre-welcome/preparing-for-marriage.aspx