Back to Basics – The Ten Commandments

Recently God led me to begin reading Deuteronomy.  This book in the Old Testament begins with Moses reviewing the Israelites journey after leaving Egypt; chapter 5 contains the Ten Commandments.  The 10^th, ‘Thou shalt not covet’ struck a chord with me.

lifehopeandtruth.com

Frequently in my current low-income station in life, I often find myself internalizing resentment towards those with money.  In San Diego bay it is quite common to see yachts or fancy sailboats.  If I become aware of a person’s financial ease in life, a negative feeling rises from my gut.  “If I had money,” is my thought, “I wouldn’t want it to be obvious; I wouldn’t drive a fancy car or live in a home that shouts RICH.”  But nurturing those thoughts is coveting.  That never occurred to me.  It is good to not want to flaunt wealth, but this leans toward jealously and wanting to do things for the wrong reason.

To reiterate that last sentence, it is not wrong to want something different, something better, or to want to BE better, but to covet can cause us to take our focus off God and turn it towards the desire to outmatch or outdo others.  My feelings of resentment, loss of Godly focus, the love we need to exhibit towards others, and the sin of jealousy — I am in danger of committing much sin over the tenth commandment.

While on my current pet sitting job, I have loved spending quiet mornings with a cup of coffee and petting Isis.  She is one of the most stunning cats I’ve known, a Bengal with gold-tipped fur.  This morning as I sat in meditation with her, a different and very uncomfortable feeling swirled in my stomach.  God has taught me something about myself, and guilt is mixed with wanting to better my situation.

This is a brief blog entry today, but a message in brief can be as powerful as many words.  Please pray for me to have the strength to overcome.  I will most certainly keep all of you on my prayer list.

 

God Bless,

God Gives Me a Voice

The original title I gave this entry was a bit long, but explains my absence from writing:

Anxiety Makes Me Speechless – God Gives Me a Voice

Upon starting this, I had no idea what to title this blog entry.  Nothing can describe the pain and turmoil that anxiety gives me.  Someone asked me once what depression feels like, and my reply pretty much feels like that, only worse.  When an attack overwhelms me without warning, it can feel like being in a pitch black prison, only with insurmountable flames.  Sometimes I can pinpoint what causes it, other times I am completely bewildered about where the attack comes from.  Three weeks ago an attack lasted an entire week and I was desperate.

Yesterday morning I was in a stage of drifting in and out of sleep, when a nightmare overtook me.  I relived the experience in which I had to give up my beloved studio apartment.  I won’t go into specifics as just thinking those about those details is raising my heart rate.  It was 5 A.M. and dark, but I sped to the living room and  began to cross stitch and picked up Psalms.  How can the devil stay when you are reading the Bible?

Strong heart palpitations woke me this morning, and automatically God put me into the mode of slow, deep breathing, which calmed my heart.  I have yet to do any Bible study this morning, but God is giving me a voice to talk to you about it.

Although I have many favorite passages in the Bible, Psalms is my favorite book.  My NKJV is filled with verses marked by red pencil.

Psalm 3:3 is one of those.   God will protect me from this torture.  Why doesn’t He just take it from me?  I don’t know, but perhaps it is so I can provide comfort to others and testify of His love.

Psalm 2:12 backs up the reason for my faith.

And verses that I will meditate upon today are:

No matter what is happening now, I know that I shall prosper.  Following God’s will in writing this particular post, I am already feeling more peace to my heart.

As always, I welcome and encourage any and all comments.  Have a blessed day!

Preparing for God

Tomorrow is your big job interview.  You’ve studied the company, practiced interview questions, and shined your shoes to a brilliant glow.

There are just three more sleeps until the reunion.  You’ve purchased new clothes, lost weight, and are prepared to primp and pamper to get ready for the big event.

In a few days is the wedding of a friend’s daughter, the first of her four girls to be taking the plunge.  As the last few years have been very tough for me, attending is not only celebrating this union, but a respite from all that plagues my mind.  But God has put the following question to me before, and He reminded me today that I haven’t answered:

How do you prepare for God?  Do I take that much care when I get ready for church, and am I doing anything to prepare for Jesus’ return?

My church has a large congregation and they have a Saturday evening service to take the load off the two Sunday services.  As I begin getting ready on Saturday afternoon, I really don’t think all that much about where I am getting ready to go.  I turn on the car radio to KLOVE (Christian station), and try not to think about much else that isn’t centered on God as I drive there.  I always look forward to my job as a greeter, but I don’t give it much thought outside of that.  At the moment I am shaking my head in disbelief at my lack of preparation for entering God’s house.

For any of us to improve in preparation for entering worship, we need to cleanse our minds and hearts.  How will I do that?  The big thing, I feel, is to pray.  Ask for the power of the Holy Spirit.  Sometimes I talk to Him as I drive, but I don’t think that is enough.  Just as I have been giving a lot of thought on the rare opportunity to get dressed up and preparing for it, I need to get on my knees before leaving for church and ask God to prepare my heart and mind to receive Him in worship.  Rejoice that you are gathering with others to celebrate Him.

When you attend, look for opportunities to serve.  If you see someone with that “where-do-I-go” blank stare, ask if they are visitors then offer to show them around and to sit with them.  Do you see a parent struggling with kids, a bag of diapers, and all that seems to follow small children?  Offer to help.  What about that elderly gentleman that comes to church alone each week?  You’ve got a good idea now – you might be surprised at all the opportunities to serve, and how it will bless your heart.

Once in church and the worship begins, are you ready to respond to the experience?  Closely reflect on the words you sing; imagine that God and His angels are listening and are pleased.  Think deeply on the verses, and you just might hear the angels singing along with you.  Be ready to take in the message and consider how to apply it to your life.

Was last week your pay week?  Come to church with your tithing check.  Think of the good God has done for you, and give back to Him through your obedience.

When you leave, think over the message.  If you’re with someone, discuss the sermon.  I don’t want to judge people, but I am often disappointed to hear people talk about what’s for dinner or something else that is completely unrelated to being at church while they are still walking up the aisle to exit.

If you really understand the reality that you are coming into God’s presence, it will change your attitude in attending.  Engrave the words of Psalm 16:11 upon your mind:

You will show me the path of life;

In your presence is fullness of joy;

At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

And I am now thinking that as I enter a church on Saturday to celebrate the union of two special people, I will rejoice in this blessing from God and how He loves us all.

 

 

 

 

Freedom . . . it isn’t free

I’m finally back after carpal tunnel surgery.  Stitches come out in two days, but I can do most things normally.

In San Diego it is a tradition with many families and groups of friends to celebrate July 4th at one of the bay parks.  I spent two nights in my car at Shelter Island, parked near friends, in order to get a prime viewing location.  This photo shows all four locations around the bay:

I feel tugged in the direction of talking about William Wilberforce (1759-1833) who led the fight in England’s Parliament to abolish the slave trade.  He also fought for animal- rights and the reformation of the character of his fellow Englishmen.  He bemoaned the fact that many said they were Christians but did not act like one.

Have  you ever heard of Jonathan Letterman (1824-1872)?  He is an unsung hero from the American Civil War.  After graduating from medical school in 1848, he enlisted in the army, and in 1862 he was appointed Medical Director to the Army of the Potomac.  Untold horrors and conditions he encountered in treating the wounded led him to create a system in which the wounded were collected and treated quickly (vs. up to two weeks it took before his system was put into place).  His superb organizational skills saved many thousands of Union soldiers.*

Who are the unsung heroes around you, who work either silently or within a group, in big ways or small, to enable people to enjoy their freedom?  For me it is the community group who take it upon themselves to beautify acreage around the Point Loma area of San Diego; those who spend their free time fighting for change within their community; etc.  Have you heard of Leslie Nelson Inman?  She is fighting for environmental change in Atlanta and around America.**

All of these individuals fight for our freedom and safety.  Look around you the next time you go to the park or walk down a busy street.  These unsung heroes fight everyday so that we may enjoy our freedom.  God bless them!

 

*   thevintagenews.com/2017/01/30/jonathan-letterman-the-unsung-hero-of-the-american-civil-war/

**https://www.facebook.com/groups/QuietOrganicYards/?fref=nf

 

Sorry, friends!

I had carpal tunnel surgery yesterday, and can I say, typing with one hand is almost like texting with a flip phone (shudder)!

I will be back on July 11th, the day I get the bandaging off.  I will be a slow typist, at least it will be with two hands.

Be safe on the 4th, have a good time, and keep faith and trust in God!

Delighting in God

 

Jump for joy!  It’s summer!

(Santa Barbara, CA, 2012)

TOMORROW IS IT!!  One more half-day and school is out for the summer.  As a teacher’s aide, I find it hard to describe the delight felt at the upcoming two and a half months.  Once someone accused me of being in the wrong profession because I was so happy about spring break; she was actually very angry at my joy!   I was stunned at her response.  Now I wonder how God feels at us not taking full delight and joy in Him?

Psalms is one of my favorite books in the Bible.  Psalms 1:2 and 37:4-5 says:

• His delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.
• Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desire of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.

I will talk about those verses a little later.

How do you delight in God?  InTouch Ministries said in a 2015 online post¹ that first we must commit our ways to God.  When I ask Him to puh-leese keep my 17 year old car running, for a better paying job, a loving relationship, etc., I try to consider why I want those things.  I try to think of how I can use what I want for His purposes.  To delight myself in Him, I have to be willing to commit my ways to His ways, which may be different.  For example, when asking for a better paying job, I tell God that with more money I will be able to do more for Him, including getting a place to live.  I can make it a welcoming home for anyone that wants to visit.  It would be so amazing to have a place where people can feel His presence and to feel my faith and trust in our Heavenly Father.  But perhaps He doesn’t want me to leave the school system and being with special needs students.  This year I have touched some student’s lives, and we never would have met without my being in this very challenging line of work.

Practicing the presence of God will bring me closer to Him, and that is huge in delighting in Him.  That is what David was referring to in Psalm 1:2.  To be in-tune with God throughout the day we can better feel His love for us, and we love and appreciate Him more.  I can hear Him much better, and no matter what happens, it is still a good day when I feel His presence throughout the hours.

We can pursue excellence and also further our pursuit of delight in Him.  In 2007, Jacob Wukie² moved from Ohio to train in archery and hopefully win a place on the 2008 Olympic team.  He had trained in archery since a young age, and with the move threw himself with passion into his goal.  When 16 athletes made the first cut, Jacob had placed 17^th.  In retrospect he realized that his heart wasn’t right with God, and he had been training for and relying on HIMSELF to reach the goal.  As “Athletes in Action” reports, Jacob realized that he had not trusted God with what He desired for Him.  With prayer his heart and attitude changed, and a week later, one of the athletes dropped out.  When the results of the second trial came up, Jacob placed 7^th and ultimately placed as an alternate, fourth in the final cut.  Four years later he competed in the London 2012 Olympics, and he and his teammates won silver.

Honoring God through my pictures

I can’t ask for a better paying job and expect to get it if I am going to be selfish with the results.

I love the magic of words.  Whether it is through typing or more-so by writing a letter or in my journal, words flowing from my fingers seem pure magic.  How can little markings put together have power to communicate? I delight in the gift of words from Him, and pray that I serve Him well through this.  Coming up with a blog topic isn’t always easy, but once I get going, I ask that the words that come out are HIS and not mine.

Hmmm . . . throughout the summer I will continue job hunting, but also pursue how I can best use the summer break for Him.  That will be delighting in Him.

See you next week!  As always, please feel free to leave comments, suggestions, etc. on this site.  Thank you for reading.

 

 

1. https://www.intouch.org/read/magazine/daily-devotions/delight-yourself-in-the-lord
2. https://athletesinaction.org/olympics/devotionals/delight-yourself-in-the-lord

Why I Read the Bible

 

Sitting in front of my laptop, the words came out dull and lifeless.  After some time, the cursor blinked and the little hand pointed accusingly as if to say, “Well, why aren’t you typing?  Just why DO you read the Bible?”

My family went to church each Sunday, but mom was the only one that read the Bible each day.  She would sit on her end of the sofa with devotional magazine open and Bible on her lap.  Don’t know if my father read, or my brother.  Mom once tried to get us all together on a regular basis to have family time over God’s word, but the attempt fell like a lead balloon.  My family was Christian, just not the greatest at Bible study.

I remember proudly naming off the books of the Bible for special recognition in Sunday school, but that exercise did nothing to teach me about God and His ways.  Back in the day when it was allowed, my high school permitted us to start a Bible study club led by a young and popular teacher.  But after that . . . . well, I pretty much come up empty with memories of Bible study.

I wish I could remember when I actually started reading on a regular basis as an adult, but each morning finds me with coffee and my NKJV Bible.  I’m not perfect; some mornings are missed.  But there really is only one way to start each day – by reading the Bible.  When in the regular habit of reading and praying, a morning missed is an entire day which doesn’t feel quite right.  God gives us His all each and every day; why shouldn’t we set aside time for Him and only Him each day?  It isn’t just that; here is why I read the Bible.

Paul says in I Timothy 4:13 “Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine” (NKJV).  I did a double take on that verse just now; that sounds like something Jesus would say.  And it IS necessary; while awaiting Jesus’ return, how else can I learn about His desire for me, His commandments, and how to discern between good and evil?  Paul said in II Timothy 3 that the Word is given to us for inspiration, instruction in righteousness, and for reproof.

The Bible makes us fully equipped for this life.  Ephesians 6:10-17 instructs us to put on the whole armor of God.  Studying The Word is like waving a sword in defense against the devil, just as the helmet of salvation protects our minds from Satan’s words and temptations.  Lately, because of the hard times I have been going through, the evil one has thrown plenty of doubt my way.  But each time I pick up the Bible or read a book of spiritual inspiration, I can feel that doubt burn up like a feather put to flame.  Psalms is my favorite source of comfort within the sacred pages.

Reading the Bible not only invites God to be with me, but the presence of the Holy Spirit draws near to reveal truths of the words before me.  Spending time with God in this manner is a form of communication between us, and many times as I start, I ask Him to reveal a special verse He wants me to take to heart.

Don’t say “I go to church; why should I read the Bible?”  That won’t cut it.  My pastor is good, but he isn’t that good.  He isn’t there to preach to me each day.  I need to experience God each and every single day.

Below I shall list some verses for you to read.  In closing, here are the words of John MacArthur which state perfectly why we should all read the Bible

• The more you focus on yourself, the more distracted you will be from the proper path. The more you know Him and commune with Him, the more the Spirit will make you like Him.  The more you are like Him, the better you will understand His utter sufficiency for all of life’s difficulties.  And that is the only way to know real satisfaction.

 

Romans 10:17   Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Deuteronomy 8:3; Matthew 4:4   …man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord.

Psalm 119:11   Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

II Timothy 3:16-17; 2:7   All Scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof for correction for instruction in righteousness.

Acts 17:11   These were more fair-minded than those in Thessalonica, in they received the word with all readiness, and searched the Scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so.

Psalm 119:-11   How can a young man cleanse his way?  By taking heed according to Your word.  With my whole heart I have sought You Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!  I have hidden in my heart that I might not sin against You.

John 15:7  If you abide in Me and my words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.

Job 23:12   I have not departed from the commandment of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food.

My Adventure with Prayer

 

Picture taken by me, Shelter Island, San Diego, CA

I was trying to come up with a fancy and wordy blog for the week, when it was put within my heart:

“Keep it simple.  Make it personal.”

Prayer can be a difficult topic to discuss; so many opinions on how, where, when, and why.  To me, prayer feels real, personal, and more meaningful when I keep it simple, like God is my friend and is right there sitting next to me.  Well, He is, isn’t He?  God is always there.  And He is our friend, although I hesitate to say it, so I tell Him that I don’t mean disrespect and that I want to give Him all reverence that He is owed.  It ends up being very reverential AND personal, and I feel closer to Him.

In “Prayer, the Great Adventure,” Dr. David Jeremiah says that we are to ask with simplicity, and to pray specifically.

We don’t have to make a big flowery speech to Him, and we are not to use (as the Bible says) vain repetitions.  Father this, Father that, etc.  How would you like being greeted with, “Mary, how are you today?  Isn’t it a great day, Mary?  It’s so good to be alive, Mary.  Mary, let’s go for a drive, Mary.”  You’ve heard prayers like that, haven’t you?  And I recently caught myself rattling off a sentence that sounded routine.  Oh yeah, that’s a prayer He’d appreciate!  I don’t ever want to be casual and routine in my communication with Him, something that would be easy to do if I ask repeatedly – more on that in a moment.

We should also pray specifically.  Instead of my saying, “God, please give me a better job” or “I want a Godly husband,” I should give particulars about the kind of job I want, and the qualities in a husband that I want.  But our prayers should always be “Thy will be done.”  That job we think would be perfect may be a nightmare’s nightmare; God knows how bad it actually is or I am really not a good fit and is keeping me out of the situation.  God may want me to serve Him in other capacities than the things I want.

If we think God doesn’t hear us, don’t give up.  Jesus said to ask, seek, knock; ask, and ask, and ask!  If there is no answer or a delay in answer, God may be preparing you for the answer.  He might also be looking for sincerity.  Do you really want what you are asking for?  Will you appreciate a ‘yes’ answer?  Don’t give up asking until you get the answer.  Ask Him what you can do in the meantime while waiting.

When I ask Him for something, I try to have a godly reason for asking.  For example, when I get a place to live, I want it to be a welcoming home where people can feel God’s love and presence and perhaps have Bible studies there.  I told Him last night that I miss having a pet – couldn’t think of a godly reason for having one, but He understands and I can feel Him smiling at me for it.

I need to work hard at improving job skills, read career advice, and practice interview questions.  Who knows, maybe I will get a job in which writing skill is much needed.   As for getting married, do I have the same qualities (honest, trust, Godly, space to be myself, etc.)?  I am working at getting better with finances (a major source of argument in marriage), and as corny as it sounds, working on skills that could help me be a good wife, a Proverbs 31 wife.

I wish I could remember how old I was; not yet a teenager I think.  For some reason I felt like I was a terrible sinner and retreated to my bedroom.  In tears and on my knees I asked for forgiveness.  Suddenly my tears were stilled, and I heard angels singing.  What a joyous feeling swelled inside my heart!

You may not hear angels, and I may not have discussed all how’s, when’s, where’s and why’s — but the big WHY is that it is absolutely vital to communication with God and Jesus.  I pray that you will be on the path to prayer adventure as I am.

Watch for a blog entry next week, when I plan on writing about why I read the Bible and how it helps me stay close to God.  Please leave any comments, questions, and suggestions.

Facing the Coronado Bridge, and the Navy base on Coronado Island  

©Gail Ballard

Drawing Closer to God

Life is busy.  You have a friend who is busy with work, new friends, activities, and perhaps family.  That person draws further and further away and you begin to feel left behind and isolated.  Or it is the other way around.  Lines of communication thin.

For a time now, can’t say how long for sure, it has prodded my mind that something was missing, that my relationship with God is not where it should be.  There is an emptiness of sorts – closeness is not there.  None of us can expect to be close to God if we don’t spend time in prayer or in His word.  My lines of communication tend to be thin, but it is entirely my fault.  I attend church each week and act as a greeter, but that isn’t near enough time for a good relationship.  Prayer is one thing vitally important for communication with God and Jesus.

“How can prayer help?” you might ask.  Let’s go back to that friendship; if someone dear to you doesn’t talk, don’t you feel left out?  Isolated?  Empty?  And we all have had a boss that doesn’t communicate well, and thereby presents another strained relationship.  You don’t know what he/she needs from you, what is expected. God knows all and sees all, but He still wants to hear from you.  He wants to hear sincere expression of your love for Him, of your needs, and hurts (Don’t try that on your boss – ha ha).  Don’t you feel better if you talk over things good or bad with someone that cares about you?  Out of His love for us, He is so pleased to hear us talk to Him and He wants to hear about ANYTHING from you.

As for not knowing what is expected, spending un-rushed time in His word is also vitally important.

If I don’t spend time with Him first thing each day, there is a sense of guilt.  Something isn’t complete.  It only feels right if the Bible comes out and I spend time in thoughtful reading.  In my current living situation it is necessary to go to the coffee shop for java each morning, and being near the airport, a Navy base, and a police hub-station, my choice of shop is very busy with shuttle and Uber drivers, military, and harbor police.  It’s hard to focus sometimes, along with music constantly going.  This week begins an experiment with ear buds.  Even if I don’t actually listen to Amazon provided “focus music”, the ear plugs will hopefully cut down on interruptions.

The Bible teaches us about Him and Jesus.  We learn His likes and dislikes, what is best for us, and laws.  Prayer does that also if done correctly and we listen by soul.

I asked God just now what I should write about next, in more detail – very quickly I heard PRAYER as the answer.  I will be doing some soul searching and reading this week, and will be with you again next weekend.  Please tell your friends and family about my blog!

The Waiting Game — Finding God’s Purpose for Your Life

Enter “purpose” in the search bar in Brainy Quotes¹, and you might not be able to count the number of results.  I scrolled, and scrolled, and scrolled….and couldn’t find the end.  Two of my favorites that turned up on the first page are from controversial figures, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and Joel Osteen.

• Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has a purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.   ~Kubler-Ross
• I believe that God has put gifts and talents and ability on the inside of every one of us. When you develop that and you believe in yourself and you believe that you’re a person of influence and a person of purpose, I believe you can rise out of any situation.   ~Osteen

Without purpose is one of the feelings I struggle with during the summer break after my first year as a substitute teacher’s aide, and not having summer employment.  I have been trying to obtain additional clients for my dog sitting business, and am attempting to return to my career as an Administrative Assistant.  Nada – nothing, and WOW have I been bored!  Even with many interests there is only so much I can do with no income and stretching out what I saved.  And under those conditions, try finding a new place to live.

Yeah, right.

We all struggle with feelings of worth, and that is why Mr. Osteen’s words are meaningful.  God has created each of us for a reason and purpose.  Scripture says:

• And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Moreover who He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, tese He also glorified.     Romans 8:28, 30
• … having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to is good pleasure which He purposed in Himself… Ephesians 1:9
• …who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.. 2 Timothy 1:9

After praying and surrendering the situation to God, I begin each day asking, “God, what do you want me to do today?”  The boredom and resulting feelings of depression and of being without purpose are nonsensical.  God most definitely has a reason for me being here!  Perhaps what it boils down to is being impatient.  I need to ask Him to grant me patience and calmness.  I need to ask “Is there something specific You need me to be doing that I have yet to start?”  Don’t expect to sit back and have God to do everything.  You have to deserve it and work for it!

image from Google search

Sometimes God needs us to wait.  Sometimes things happen quickly and sometimes they don’t.  One way to think of it is when you are saving for a new car, a deposit on a new apartment, or you’re going for that dream job.  When you work and save and learn, and you finally get there, don’t you appreciate it more?  You can never take it easy, and you can’t take those things for granted.  You’ve worked for it and you’ve deserved it.  God needs to know you will be appreciative and to treat His gift with respect.

God is developing you and developing the situation.  As Elizabeth Kubler-Ross said, get in touch with the silence.  You are in a waiting game, and God wants you to be the winner.

1. https://www.brainyquote.com/search_results.html?q=purpose