Sorry for my absence; things have been rather busy and messed up, and this is when blogging would have been quite useful. I took some time off from job hunting, and now that I’m back to it depression has been especially hard to deal with.
A couple of weeks ago I took a typing test to obtain an official certificate for presenting to the school district for temp work they are interested in interviewing me for. Sometimes lost is my middle name, and I got lost on my way there. MAJOR panic attack and my heart beat so furiously that it seemed I was having a heart attack. Fortunately I was allowed in despite being a bit late.
I was so distraught that I went to the administration building at my church after taking the test, and asked the receptionist for anyone available to pray for me. The very kind woman that sat with me prayed, then urged that I go to the doctor to be on the safe side. My blood pressure was off, and when the doctor at the clinic listened to my heart she heard an irregular heartbeat. On the menu? An EKG. After consulting with another doctor they determined that I was not having a heart attack, but wrote a prescription for anxiety medication and wrote a referral for a cardiologist. Unfortunately I now have to wait for MediCal to kick in before I can have that appointment.
Depression and anxiety are demons in my opinion. It makes it so difficult to do everyday things, and often difficult to read the Bible or do what God needs me to do – that is why I feel they are demons. I have two index cards on the closet door right by my desk and within site of the bed. God is an encourager, and I greatly value these verses:
Never forget that God provides, and He will guard your heart during trials and tribulations.
Some of the things I am thankful for today include:
- Adult coloring books by Johanna Basford. The pages within are art in themselves, and coloring them provides peace and works I can turn into personal art.
- I qualify for MediCal.
- I was able to purchase some cool-season veggies for my fall garden.
- Lavender – I adore lavender for aromatherapy and in personal care products.
- I am glad it wasn’t a heart attack.
- God provides; I had the money to finally order new eyeglasses; learned that my new prescription is ½ power stronger.
- My housemate brought me an orchid that was going to be thrown out at the garden center – love having plants in my room. It was nice that she thought of me.
- My mom called to see if I had money for October rent, and I do.
- The triplets are now 6 weeks old and are doing fabulous.
- My niece and nephew-in-law have lots of volunteers so that they can get some rest.
- Stunning blue sky as I type this
I need to finish getting ready for my volunteer job at the seminary, so will close for now. Please comment anytime you wish!
Grace Notes -- a thankfulness blog 